Image via Complex Original
If I weren’t a journalist, I would probably be an internet troll. There, I said it, and I feel liberated. I have opinions about everything, and I observe the behavior of everyone on the internet subjectively—leading to my developing feelings about a number of people based solely upon how they react within a given set of characters. I’m not alone in suffering from this affliction. You’re probably right there with me, as social media has dominated our means of communication for damn near a decade now, changing interpersonal relationships forever. It’s both a gift and a curse, really. The phrase “lost touch” has become nonexistent, as social media has allowed us to either reach out or become digital voyeurs, observing the lives of those we know and those we used to know. But that responsibility comes with significant side effects.
Catfish has taught us that not everything is what we think it is on that world wide web, oftentimes leading us to draw conclusions about people that may or may not be factual. This is where Facebook’s handy “Unfollow” function comes into play. So why Facebook and not any of the myriad social media apps that flood the market daily? Well, for one, Facebook has the damaging infinite word count feature, allowing a flood of Noah’s Ark proportions when it comes to people’s opinions.
Places like Twitter offer a mute button, but it’s not as easy to become enraged by 140 characters as it is by, say, 5000. And in the case of Instagram, it’s quite simple to unfollow a person completely without having them readily know (unless they have some unfollow spyware app installed). Facebook, with its “unfollow” vs. “unfriend" is considerably trickier to navigate. And there’s the reason for that: in today’s society, the almighty “unfriending” is read as a permanent severing of ties. Sounds pathetic and juvenile, but this is our new normal. If you’re cutthroat and/or don’t feel particularly attached to a person on your Facebook page, then by all means. However, if you love a person, but hate their internet persona, then an unfollow is the antidote for you. It can save your offline relationship with a person for a number of reasons.
Here are just a few:
You'll Escape Overexposure
It’s become a force of habit for some to make Facebook their daily diary. “I’m eating cereal,” “I’m heading to the gym,” “I like turtles,” “My foot hurts.” All. Day. Long. And, hey, maybe you find that ritual endearing from some, but from others, it’s more information that you’ve ever wanted to know. You can spot the Facebook diarist rather easily. They probably already have about twenty posts up today.
You'll Bypass the Podium Assassination
On its best day, Facebook provides a voice for the voiceless. On the worst day, it provides a voice for the voiceless. Everyone has opinions, but some don’t publicly share them in person, leading to pent up thoughts that manifest themselves in the form of rage-spewing Facebook posts. These are typically politically driven, and you might find yourself reading those friends’ posts and thinking, “I didn’t know you felt that way!” And that’s tricky, really, learning that a conservative cousin is vehemently anti-abortion when you might have had one in high school. Or finding out that one of your favorite professor thinks Bill Cosby is innocent. In situations like these, it’s always best to judge the person by how they treat you, and keep it moving. Oh—and unfollow them.
You'll Remember It’s Not Always About You
When you’re close to someone—be it a significant other, immediate family member, or best friend, their words have more power than most. That leads to reading into things that are laid out objectively in a public forum. But seriously, not every post is tailor made with the intent of reaching you. A meme about letting go doesn’t mean your girlfriend is ready to dump you. That little argument you had with a new friend didn’t provoke her to quote Drake’s “No New Friends.” Your son isn’t trying to tell you he’s moving to Bali when he posts “Ten Reasons Why You Should Move To Bali.” You’re so vain, I bet you think this article is about you.
You'll Avoid Dating Disasters
An oldie but goodie. If you’re crazy enough to add a new person you’re dating to your Facebook page, DO NOT FOLLOW THEM. Every photo with another person will have you assuming that they’re dating them. Every time they don’t text you back, yet find the time to share an article will drive you mad. Every check in at anywhere involving booze will have you thinking they are taking someone else home that night. You’ll be doomed before you can even change your relationship status.
You'll Stop Playing Detective
Some of us like to believe we are living within the pages of a Nancy Drew novel, constantly solving cases about people’s lives based solely upon their Facebook posts. Have you found yourself thinking a couple you know is bound for divorce because they stop tagging each other in dinner plans? Do you observe the eyes in photos of your nephew in recovery just to make sure he’s “still sober”? None of this is your place, Sherlock, and it’s toxic to your relationship. So if there is a certain someone you enjoy stalking for clues on the low-low, then back it up a bit because spoiler alert, people with real problems rarely publicize them.
You'll Save Yourself From a Serious Case of FOMO
Clinical studies have proven the FOMO or “Fear Of Missing Out” can lead to depression, and that is exponentially heightened by social media. If you live far away from your friends, seeing them out every night can actually depress you. It can also drum up feelings of jealousy, which are equally dangerous to the fibers of a relationship. If you suffer from FOMO, take it off your newsfeed. You’ll be much happier without it.
You'll Skip Milestone Mania
Along the same lines as FOMO, there may be friends on your feed who have reached points in their lives that you haven’t yet encountered. Maybe they’ve gotten married, have a child on the way, purchased their first home. And here you are with three roommates and a Tinder date penciled in for the weekend. Comparing lives is futile, and you may roll your eyes at that sonogram pic or wind up in the fetal position when your college roommate posts the infamous “hand with an engagement ring” photo. You'll save yourself first and the relationship second.