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We already brought you the 50 Best Strip Clubs in America, but not everbody can enjoy that. For those of you looking for a more couples friendly atmosphere, look no further than your city's burlesque act.
By keeping some of the clothes on and the mood light, burlesque is sexy fun without the tawdry sleaze that might keep your main squeeze from accompanying you to the the strip club. Have a drink, laugh along to the boisterous MC, and watch a talented lady get down to pasties and a g-string. There's no telling what this might prompt later for you and your lady.
Here are 25 Burlesque Shows You Could Take Your Girl To.
Bravissimo Burlesque
Bravissimo Burlesque at WineO
CITY: Philadelphia
ADDRESS: 447 Poplar St.
TIME: Every last Saturday of the month
WEBSITE: wineophilly.com
Late night action at WineO doesn't just cater to the brownbag set; if you're out to have a good time on a Saturday night with some classy stripping and affordable food, look no further than this show. Even if you don't know Italian, the ladies will still have you saying bravissimo!
Spanking of the Lower East Side
Spanking of the Lower East Side at Nurse Bettie
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 106 Norfolk St. # 1
TIMES: Every Thursday, 10 p.m.
WEBSITE: nursebettieles.com
This cozy—some might say cramped, though close-quarters with gyrating women in little apparel sounds just fine to us—spot in the LES does a free burlesque show on the reg. The Asian host, Calamity Chang, is drop-dead gorgeous, and the drinks are on point. What more could you ask for?
A Burlesque Affaire
Affaire
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 50 Avenue B
TIME: Every Wednesday, 9:30 p.m. (until Aug. 24)
WEBSITE: affairenyc.com
It's only right to have a litte burlesque at a French bistro and lounge. The atmosphere at Affaire in the East Village is intimate—furnished with comfy couches, antiques, and paintings. They've got brunch and dinner covered, along with various cocktails, beer, and wine. If you happen to use the bathroom there, you can say #mysoapisfromparis since you are getting your money's worth of French culture without having to leave NY.
Room 69: The Hotel Chantelle Way
Room 69: The Hotel Chantelle Way
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 92 Ludlow St.
TIME: Every Friday, 9 p.m.
WEBSITE: hotelchantelle.com
There's no cover at this swank weekly show. Under liquid red light, corsets and garters pop off in the lounge at the Hotel Chantelle, giving your cocktail an extra kick. The space is small, with the performers teasing down to tiny underthings right in front of the bar. You'll have a great view from your candle-lit booth.
Savoir Faire
Savoir Faire
CITY: Portland, Oregon
ADDRESS: 3862 Southeast Hawthorne Blvd.
TIME: Every Thursday, 10 p.m.
WEBSITE: sinnsavvyproductions.com
Burlesque and vaudeville go hand in hand, something the folks over at Portland's Savoir Faire know all too well. See, strip clubs have the tendency to play things too straight; they won't laugh at themselves. This could potentially make your lady—and, by proxy, you—uncomfortable. But by breaking up the action with slapstick routines and yuckster stand-up in that old-timey, vaudeville tradition, Savoir Faire eases you into the pasties and g-string portion of the night. It's amazing what you can get away with when the mood is light.
Rose City Shimmy
Rose City Shimmy
CITY: Portland, Oregon
ADDRESS: 722 E Burnside Street
TIME: Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12 a.m.
WEBSITE: rosecityshimmy.com
Burlesque has always been a hit out west, or at least that's what classic cowboy movies would have you believe. Rose City Shimmy, based in Portland, has five beauties who know how to keep you entertained. They have a Wild West theme going on at their next show. What innuendo does "six-shooter" suggest?
Boobs and Goombas: A Super Mario Bros. Burlesque
Boobs and Goombas: A Super Mario Bros. Burlesque at Gorilla Tango
CITY: Chicago
ADDRESS: 1919 N. Milwaukee Ave.
TIME: Every Friday & Saturday, 11 p.m. (until Aug. 27)
WEBSITE: gorillatango.com
Really, we're not sure that we can sell this better than the show's title already does. Combining near-naked dancing ladies with the beloved Nintendo video game, "Boobs and Goombas" will take you back to that middle-school era when sex and video games occupied most of your waking—and dreaming—thoughts. No pixilation here; just real people. We know that can be scary for some of you former gaming addicts, but know that everyone else in the audience understands the feeling of a square controller in damp mitts just as well as you do.
Oh, and the audience members are encouraged to bring coins to throw onstage. Power up.
Rhinestone Follies
Rhinestone Follies
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 218 Bowery
TIME: Every Friday, 8 p.m.
WEBSITE: rhinestonefollies.com
We're gonna throw a couple of words at you to see how you react: "Cutie with the Booty." Once you get past the kinda/sorta patronizing rhyming, you have to admit, it's a nice prospect. This is Complex: We know you appreciate cute girls with out of proportion backsides. So if we're telling you that one of the performers, Kita St. Cyr, at Rhinestone Follies earns this nickname, we're expecting you to check it out. Remember, we're here to help.
Sugar Shack Burlesque
Sugar Shack Burlesque
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 168 Delancey St.
TIME: Every Wednesday, 10 p.m.
WEBSITE: sugarshackburlesque.com
The ladies of the Sugar Shack are tapped into the weird inner-workings of the typical male mind. Of course, this show provides the prerequisite sex and tongue-in-cheek naughtiness that are the hallmarks of burlesque, but the Sugar Shack goes the extra mile to unfurl those stranger kinks. For instance, a striptease with the performer dressed as Jules Winnfield, Samuel L. Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction. Another routine involves a straight jacket and some help from the audience. These dancers are scratching itches you didn't even know you had.
Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce Burlesque Nightclub
Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce Burlesque Nightclub
CITY: Las Vegas
ADDRESS: 3930 Las Vegas Blvd.
TIME: Every Friday, 8 p.m.
WEBSITE: fortydeuce.com
An institution with a bevy of stars to back up its rep, Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce is the kind of show other burlesque performances aspire to be. Justin Timberlake has featured Forty Deuce dancers in his videos, and Hugh Hefner has brought a number of the talented ladies to the Playboy Mansion (and that's a man that wants for nothing when it comes to eager-to-undress ladies). The accolades speak for themselves.
Brian Newman After Dark
Brian Newman After Dark at Duane Park
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 157 Duane St.
TIME: Every Friday, 10:30 p.m.
WEBSITE: duaneparknyc.com
Jazz trumpeter and generally classy dude Brian Newman reminds patrons of the illicitness of the Jazz Age with his weekly burlesque show, Brian Newman After Dark. Get ready for hot jazz and slow-to-peel-back elbow length gloves hitting the floor under the stage lights. That evening gown is coming off.
Floating Kabarette
Floating Kabarette at Galapagos Art Space
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 16 Main St.
TIME: Every Saturday
WEBSITE: galapagosartspace.com
Floating Kabarette mixes a little bit of everything in their show. You have burlesque, cabaret, aerialist acts, singing, dancing, and comedy. With all that excitement, it's nice to mellow out with some drinks and music afterwards. We're also recommending a post-show cold shower.
Doc Wasabassco's Burlesque
Doc Wasabassco's Burlesque at Union Hall
CITY: Brooklyn
ADDRESS: 702 Union St.
TIME: Tuesday, August 2, 2011
WEBSITE: wasabassco.blogspot.com
The women of Wasabassco Burlesque have been showing themselves off around the tri-state area for six years now. They're always looking to spice up the night, giving new definition to the term "people pleaser."
X Burlesque
X Burlesque at the Flamingo
CITY: Las Vegas
ADDRESS: 3555 Las Vegas Blvd.
TIME: Every night, 10 p.m.
WEBSITE: xburlesque.com
There's Vegas burlesque and then there's burlesque everywhere else. And what that boils down to is spectacle. Vegas always does it bigger and glitzier. The lights are brighter, the choreography more intricate, bending both mind and body, and the women will be closer to Playboy Playmates than any other show out. You feel like turning that down?
Bustout Burlesque
Bustout Burlesque at the House of Blues
CITY: New Orleans
ADDRESS: 225 Decatur St.
TIME: Friday, August 19, 2011 at 8 p.m. & 11 p.m.
WEBSITE: bustoutburlesque.com
New Orleans thrives because it can absorb anything and make it its own. Jazz emerged in the brothels of the Nola; Bustout Burlesque puts the sex back into the big easy with their vintage striptease, soundtracked by America's first original creation: jazz.
Tempting Tarts
Tempting Tarts at Rendezvous Jewelbox Theater
CITY: Seattle
ADDRESS: 2322 2nd Ave.
TIME: Next show: August 18, 2011 (see website for details)
WEBSITE: temptingtarts.citymax.com
The ladies of Tempting Tarts dig themes. There last show featured the sexed-up vixens of geek culture; their next is "Tarts Across America," a show that pairs girls with stereotypes of various regions in America. Journey to Hawaii, where the grass skirts and coconut bras won't stay on for long. The sun-kissed bodies of California will shimmy and shake; the New Yorkers will be disgruntled smokers rushing from one end of the stage to the other. We kid, we kid (but only about that last part).
Viva Dallas Burlesque
Viva Dallas Burlesque at Lakewood Theater
CITY: Dallas
ADDRESS: 1825 Abrams Rd. # A
TIME: First Friday of Every Month, 9 p.m.
WEBSITE: vivadallasburlesque.com
Unlike many of these shows, Viva Dallas Burlesque is a vessel for the best the medium has to offer. Each month, Viva hosts a different show with a different cast of performers at the Lakewood Theater. Their upcoming show features the After Dark Revue, a gifted troupe of dancers from Corpus Christi. Maye Applebottom and the rest of the gals will put on a classic burlesque show with bellydancing and boas, pasties and sass.
Monday Night Tease
Monday Night Tease at 3 Clubs
CITY: Los Angeles
ADDRESS: 1123 Vine St.
TIME: Every Monday (check calendar for times)
WEBSITE: mondaynighttease.com
You don't get to be the longest running burlesque show in L.A. by sitting on your ass (though showing your ass is one legitimate way). No, you have to keep things exciting, which is exactly what Monday Night Tease does with their sexy takes on the Muppets, Inglourious Basterds, even a send-up of McDonalds. Ever seen a woman dressed as a large order of fries shimmy down to a g-string? You can at Monday Night Tease.
Off Off Broadzway
Off Off Broadzway
CITY: Chicago
ADDRESS: Venue changes (see website)
TIME: See website
WEBSITE: offoffbroadzway.com
If you imagine burlesque as a scale where comedy rests on one side and sex on the other, Off Off Braodzway tips toward the side of comedy. This isn't a knock against the sultriness of the dancers, it's more an indication of how well this troupe tickles your funny bone (among other bone-related things). We mean boners. See, we're not so great at this comedy thing. We could use a lesson from these performers.
Boston Babydolls Burlesque Troupe
Boston Babydolls Burlesque Troupe
CITY: Boston
ADDRESS: 119 Braintree St.
TIME: Friday July 29; Saturday July 30, 8 p.m.
WEBSITE: bostonbabydolls.net
These baby dolls play dress up the naughty way. They're currently touring New England, paying homage to the "golden-age" of burlesque. If you're in the Boston area, try convincing your significant other to take one of their classes, and thank us later.
The Box
The Box
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 189 Chrystie St.
TIME: Every Tuesday through Saturday, 1 a.m.
WEBSITE: theboxnyc.com
Our regular readers know how unrestricted Complex's language is, but even we're shying away from some of the things that happen at The Box. Pardon the vagueness, but shit gets real here. That spectacular human train wreck, Lindsay Lohan has been spotted experiencing multiple performances at The Box.
Part bizarre vaudeville act, part graphic burlesque show, part parade of weirdness, you might leave here changed.
Hubba Hubba Revue
Hubba Hubba Revue at the Uptown
CITY: San Francisco
ADDRESS: 375 Eleventh St.
TIME: Check calander
WEBSITE: hubbahubbarevue.com
This San Francisco staple really pulls out the stops when it comes to themes. With plenty of troupes latching on to nerdcore shows, things like the LOTR-based "Fellowship of the Boobs," Hubba Hubba lets the imagination run wild. Their recent show, "Old Time Religion," freely mixed the sacred and the profane, calling on Christian Southern Gothic imagery that must've had Flannery O'Connor doing cartwheels in her grave. Human sacrifice, Satan, and Jesus all made fleshy appearances. The Bible never had this much ass.
Red Hots Burlesque
Red Hots Burlesque at El Rio
CITY: San Francisco
ADDRESS: 3158 Mission St.
TIME: Every Wednesday, 7 p.m.; Fridays, 7:30 p.m.
WEBSITE: redhotsburlesque.com
Every week, Red Hots Burlesque cements San Francisco's reputation for being more liberated than the rest of the country. Playfully mixing provocative raunch (a mask of George W. Bush covering up one performer's nether-region, for instance) with hilarious stand-up, Red Hots features a variety of body types and a fresh, female-positive attitude that nobody can argue with.
Le Scandal
Le Scandal
CITY: New York
ADDRESS: 407 West 42nd St.
TIME: Every Saturday, 10:30 p.m.
WEBSITE: lescandal.com
Literal sword swallowing, human pretzel contortion, and lots of toplessness: These are the secrets to New York's longest running burlesque show. Times Square may have cleaned up its act, but you won't be able to tell at Le Scandal.
MGM Grand Crazy Horse
Crazy Horse Paris at the MGM Grand
CITY: Las Vegas
ADDRESS: 3799 South Las Vegas Blvd.
TIME: Every Wednesday through Monday, 8:00 p.m. and 10:30 p.m.
WEBSITE: mgmgrand.com
There is no burlesque act more famous than the original Crazy Horse in Paris. Knowing this, the MGM Grand in Vegas adapted the show for the States. Featuring 12 ballet-trained dancers, all possessing the same sort of statuesque beauty, the Crazy Horse Paris at the Grand astounds with lavish costumes, tight choreography, and a sense of artfulness that will remind you of the divinity of the female body.