Image via Complex Original
Good tidings to all, and to all happy holidays. The turkey is officially digested and that can only mean one thing: For the next four and a half weeks, we are officially in Holiday Season. The time is now for spiked eggnog—the better to help you remain War Ready while you trudge through perennially packed malls, Christmas trees/menorahs/Kwanzaa candles, an endless barrage of holiday music (whatup, Mariah?) across all radio, and of course, holiday-themed movies and television. Because how could anyone be expected to maintain the Holiday Spirit™ for a full month without some timely programming from our favorite TV stations to keep the yuletide fever buoyant? Moreover, the holidays wouldn't be half as fun if they didn't provide a resonant excuse to rewatch the likes of A Christmas Story, Home Alone, Jingle All the Way, Die Hard, Batman Returns...you get the idea.
But Christmas movies are already well spoken for. We're here to put a Santa hat on the good ol' silver screen tube, and all of the gifts bestowed upon us through the great medium of TV, from the obvious specials to holiday-themed episodes from some of our favorite shows that nevertheless stand on their own. Instead of giving you a straight up list, the brain trust at Complex Pop compiled their favorite holiday episodes and ordered them into a handy viewing playlist just for you. We'll be telling you what to watch on each day up until The Big Day, with carefully selected choices that reflect the peaks and valleys of Chrismukkah-mania. The holidays can be taxing, but TV can get you through them. Stick with us and hey, you might even make it to Christmas.
Dec 1: The Year Without Santa Claus
Watch it today because: It's December first, fam! The holiday season is here, Christmas lights are on every tree in every city and town square, and the radio is playing Mariah Carey's timeless classic non-stop. This is peak holiday enjoyment, the only validation cold weather offers. Nostalgia and merry vibes are running high. Why not get into the spirit with The Year Without Santa Claus, arguably the best Christmas special of all time made all the more charming by its stop-motion clay-mation. On paper, Jules Bass' animated tale is anything but jolly: a sick and tired Santa Claus gets about as fed up with the holidays as we'll be by the middle of the month and decides to shirk his sleigh and chimney duties all together, leading to a power play between the scheming Miser Bros. and a lot of dejected kids.
But as far as Christmas nostalgia goes, this might be the peak—the centerpiece song and dance might be one of the most universal holiday melodies over anything you'll hear on the radio this next month. Whether you're team Heat Miser or ride for Mr. Snow, don't wait around for ABC to broadcast this closer to Christmas Day. Get your season started right and educate any young family members who have yet to experience the magic that happens when Santa Claus takes time off. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 2: Saved by the Bell, "A Home for Christmas"
Watch it today because: What better way to embrace the Christmas spirit than by eating some of Chef Zack Morris’ “Gingerbread Women”? Yes, Zack literally makes gingerbread cookies in the shapes of women. Because he’s Zack “Lady Killer” Morris. Or, as Jessie refers to them, whilst throwing shade at Slater, “Gingerbread Pigs”? (Because, as always, she’s Saved by the Bell's resident feminist.)
It’s that grade-school level of comedy writing that gives “A Home for Christmas” its jolly, liquor-free eggnog charms. Try not to smile while watching Zack and the gang perform a hammy version of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol in the middle of the Bayside Mall, complete with the muscular Slater playing Tiny Tim, for maximum irony. And do your best to not appreciate the zero subtlety it takes to name your episode’s mean, Scrooge-like villain Mr. Moody, and have him say, “This is Melvin Moody, and I’m in a bad moody!”
Best of all, though, feel the genuine uplift as Zack—his pimp hand operating at its good-guy best—romances a pretty blonde by giving the less-fortunate girl and her homeless father a warm, food-filled place to celebrate Christmas. Because even when he's on holiday saccharine level, Zack Morris is still that dude. —Matt Barone
Dec. 3: The Simpsons, "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire"
Watch it today because: Even casual fans know The Simpsons began as craggy, awkward animations on the Tracey Ullman Show, but fewer remember that first episode proper was a Christmas special—as in the title card quaintly reads “The Simpson’s Christmas Special” right there on it.
Looks wise, the episode is halfway between its DIY roots and the slicker animated series it would become, but a lot of the charm is already in place. Though Homer's voice has an awkward, Archie Bunker-esque delivery, he's still the recognizably iconic buffoon we know and love. Lisa is still Lisa, if a little bit more immature (she wants a pony). And Maggie's sucker noise is pitch perfect, as is her ridiculous starfish-shaped baby parka. While it’s fun to revisit "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" (as it was later retitled) for purely historical reasons, the episode is actually a pretty great one-off on its own. Oh, and as you may have guessed, the episode is also an origin story. If you forgot how the family wound up with Santa's Little Helper, well, look no further. —Nathan Reese
Dec. 4: Arrested Development, "Afternoon Delight"
Watch it today because: Your family can be horrible, but no family is as horrible as the Bluths. You've had a tab open to buy tickets back home for a full week now. If you’re having second thoughts about going home this Christmas (you should really cop before that holiday mark-up hits) just watch the sixth episode of the second season of Arrested Development and rest assured that you will not have to rebuild a banana stand or sing “Afternoon Delight” with your uncle in front of a bunch of disgruntled employees.
If by chance you’re one of the few people who actually enjoys spending the holidays with your crazy cousin and bipolar aunt, this is still a great episode to watch as it highlights some heartwarming bonds within the Bluth clan. Maeby and Michael show how much they love each other during the annual Bluth holiday party, Lindsay and George Michael show how much they love each other at the redux Bluth holiday party, Oscar, George Sr.’s twin brother, inadvertently gets Lucille high on edibles, and Buster saves G.O.B. from dying underneath the banana stand. Family is so special!
The only part of this episode that will probably make you curse the holiday season is the uncomfortable scene where George Michael sits awkwardly in his girlfriend Ann’s living room while her family sings religious hymns about Jesus. Who needs Jesus when you have karaoke and suits that cost $7 grand? —Lauretta Charlton
Dec. 5: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, "Christmas Show"
Watch it today because: You're staring down the barrel of a mini-family reunion, depending on how hard you go for the holidays. That may be exciting, it may be daunting, but one thing's for sure: a Christmas special, especially a sitcom, isn't shit without a #relevant lesson on the value of family. Bonus points if said parable chops down the materialistic atmosphere so associated with the holidays to further emphasize family's greater importance.
And so, the Banks' ski trip up north, luxe vacationers (the type to use holiday as a verb) as they are, goes south very quickly. Holiday goodwill inspires them to invite a run-down stranger into their lodge, only—surprise!—he's actually there to rob them blind. (Of course streetsmart Will was the only dissenting vote in actually letting him in.) From there on, with Will, the Banks and their extended relatives left with nothing but the secrets and drama between them—Aunt Janice is lowkey pregnant, Will's mom has a mysterious man-friend back home, Carlton annoys everyone—it's a classic long night's journey into day. The episode even ends with everyone singing "O' Holy Night" for christssakes. But a little saccharine classic sitcom security goes a long way, especially in a world where Uncle Phil will have been gone a full year in a few weeks' time. And on a lighter, equally relevant note: "Christmas Show" marks the first appearance of the infamous Carlton Dance™. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 6: Supernatural, "A Very Supernatural Christmas"
Watch it today because: The world of Supernatural is often hilarious and lighthearted as it is grim and horrific (sometimes unevenly so). It should be no surprise then, that the brothers Winchester versus Christmas is played for more laughs than one might expect from a plot about people being snatched *up* chimneys (clever). A tongue-in-cheek case-of-the-week is needed though, considering the harsh reality Dean and Sam are doing their best to ignore: Dean won't be around by the next holiday season.
No, he's not terminally ill. This is Supernatural—he's got less than a year before hellhounds come to collect his soul. But the circumstances couldn't be more grounded. Dean is brave-faced and holiday gung-ho, while little brother Sam is, understandably, very Grinch-like at the thought of his soon to be dead brother. It's a classic case of one family member who needs to be wooed into the holiday spirit...set against a murderous creature mimicking Saint Nick. By episode's end, your holiday spirit will remain in full, cheerful effect. Trust me. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 7: Frasier, "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz"
Watch it today because: Thanks to a dating life that's gotten embarrassingly long in the tooth, it's easy to understand why a man as old as Frasier Crane would be willing to resort to whatever hijinks he has to in order to keep a new love interest around. That's why when a blind date yields surprisingly high potential in guest star Amy Brenneman, the good Dr. Crane goes all in on a ruse to convince her aggressively orthodox Jewish mother that he too plays for Team Hanukkah. And while it's fun watching Frasier (nobody does frantic quite like Kelsey Grammer) run around hiding Christmas tree deliveries and shooing away Eddie the Terrier, dressed in full Santa Claus garb while Niles and Martin go full Woody Allen in an effort to contribute, the episode's real value comes when the running gag gives way to real weight.
There's no better time to air out all ugly family business than the holidays, and when Frasier and Martin watch his date and her mother go from 0-100 to copacetic real quick, it's not long before six seasons worth (and as far as character history goes, decades worth) of conflict and passive aggression come spilling out. It'd almost be too real for a sitcom—and Frasier can be, quite infamously, very melancholy at times—if the two crying grown men weren't trying to figure out how two Jewish women had the same fight and made up in half the time just five minutes before them. And if we weren't just bestowed with the image of Niles Crane, dressed as Jesus and caught huffing nasal spray in a bathroom with a hidden 7 footer Christmas tree behind him five minutes before that. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 8: 30 Rock, "Ludachristmas"
Watch it today because: There's no better time than Christmas to compare/judge other families. Your usual freedom is likely being whittled down at this point in favor of Christmas tree decorating, shopping, and being forced to listen to your mom complain about how Aunt Helen needs to stop drinking at the family party. But, there's always solace in the realization that at least your family isn't as bad as that family.
When "Ludacrhistmas" isn't revealing the true meaning of Christmas ("It's about getting drunk and hugging your cousin too much until your Mom says, 'Frank, enough!'"), it's got the late, great Elaine Stritch—a top three character on 30 Rock—driving a wedge between the "Lemon Party" (don't Google that joke) to prove that every family has their flaws. Some families aren't as nurturing, while others, like Liz Lemon's, have a relative who still thinks it's 1985 because of a 50 First Dates-esque brain disease. And in the end, everyone can bond over the fact that their family is theirs. Isn't that what Christmas is all about?
Also, just watch this for Tracy Jordan's end-credits Christmas carol. —Andrew Gruttadaro
Dec. 9: Curb Your Enthusiasm, "Mary, Joseph and Larry"
Watch it today because: Leave it to Larry to address two very pertinent holiday conflicts, one that probably every other family can at least loosely relate to and another that’s a quintessential Rich Person Problem. The first: holiday compromises in a multi-religion household. And the other is, but of course: the perils of Tipping Season. Larry’s no Grinch—as often, he means well, but naturally, his personality quickly poisons all potential goodwill and he fucks up majorly in both arenas. First he gives the gardener more money than the maid, then while making it rain on waiters in the country club, he gives one guy a tip twice. Both deny it, and all Larry can do is give them the Eye-to-Eye stare down.
That’s nothing compared to the L he takes in this installment of Larry vs. the In-Laws, when he tries to stow his Jewish indifference to Christmas by arranging a live Nativity scene at the house. When Cheryl and her family return, however, all they see is Joseph (David Koechner) and Larry wrestling on the ground after he makes a suggestive comment about the actress portraying Mary, because apparently the line between reality and method acting blurs when you bring the Virgin Mother into it. Leave it to an asshole as proficiently annoying as Larry to get volunteer Nativity actors riled up for Christ’s sake. And if you’ve got a team of house care pros to dole out bonuses too, be a mensch and coordinate that shit properly. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 10: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Amends"
Watch it today because: There's no holiday that Buffy hasn't tackled with a timelessly essential episode (except New Year's Day). The show's one and only Christmas special subs Angel in for Scrooge, as the newly re-ensouled vamp is visited by ghosts from his evil era, which saw a brief resurgence in the previous season that saw him terrorize Buffy and the gang. Of course, on Buffy the ghosts are never simply metaphorical: something sinister is purposely trying to drive Angel crazy, but to what end?
The philosophical question of past misdeeds versus present self-worth would go on to serve as the theme for Angel's own spin-off series, and you have to wonder if this is where Joss Whedon got the idea. He almost doesn't make it past this episode though. Things get pretty dark, when Angel, tormented and guilt-ridden, decides to commit suicide by sunrise while Buffy waits on a rooftop with him pleading that he reconsider. Thankfully, a well-timed Christmas Miracle™ is on hand to change his mind for him. It wouldn't be the holidays without a coincidence by way of divine intervention. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 11: Happy Endings, "No-Ho-Ho"
Watch it today because: Nostalgia is a huge part of the holiday season's appeal, but flashes of something new are always appreciated. ABC's gone-too-soon sitcom gained a cult following because it took a unique, zany approach to the twentysomethings hangout formula and its winning formula is on full display in the show's second (and last, *cue tear*) Christmas episode. Specifically, Happy Endings manages to zigzag away from typical holiday special tropes into a Christmas storyline that, as far as I know, has never been done before, genius for its simplicity, and relatable too.
On Christmas eve the gang discovers Jane's actually been lying about her birthday for as long as they've known her: she's actually a dreaded Christmas Baby, doomed to have her own special day forever overshadowed by Christmas trees and Saint Nick until she finally demanded a date change. Upon learning this, her husband Brad attempts to rally everyone to delay the Christmas for a day and celebrate Jane's birthday instead, with a zero holiday paraphernalia policy. Easier said than done thanks to the group fuck-ups Max and Alex, both battling addictions to eggnog and gift unwrapping (yes, you read that right) respectively. The beauty of Happy Endings is in how earnestly and hilariously the cast, specifically hitters like Damon Wayans Jr, Adam Pally and (surprisingly) Elisha Cuthbert, sell the most absurd plots and character motivations. An unwrapping addiction sounds stupid as hell—until you see Cuthbert petting holiday wrapping paper like she's jonesing for a fix. The same goes for Brad's struggle not to dance along with a Hip-Hop Santa he stashed in the closet.
When Operation: Delay Christmas fails spectacularly, Jane discovers a bar where dejected Christmas Babies congregate every year and trade First World Problem horror stories ("One Christmas, I got an Easy Bake oven. And my birthday present was the batteries for it") before going on an annual Fuck Christmas riot, it's clear you're not watching something interchangeable with a TV Land rerun. Plus the end credits tag is a full cast dance-off with Hip-Hop Santa. Do yourself a favor and add this new classic to your annual holiday playlist —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 12: Hey Arnold!, "Arnold's Christmas"
Watch it today because: As far as I know, there’s only one Nicktoon that visualized the Vietnam War, and that would be Hey Arnold. (If there are others, please tell me. If Rocko’s Modern Life somehow made a Dispatches reference that I missed, it’s imperative that someone tell me.) If it’s been a minute since you last saw the show, remember that the set-up is Arnold, young hip city dweller, lives in the boarding house his grandparents run. Many of the stories come from the (duh) colorful cast of characters populating the ramshackle brownstone.
Mr. Hyunh, who hails from Vietnam and loves country music, is one such boarder, and Hey Arnold’s genuinely moving Christmas episode provides the occasion for him to share his story. The episode depicts the fall of Saigon, which is when Mr. Hyunh was separated from his daughter, Mai. I won’t spoil the rest (for selfish reasons—I’m trying not to cry into my keyboard right now), but it’s adult and sure to have you calling your parents to tell them that you love them (and can't wait to see them in a couple of weeks)—assuming, of course, that you do.—Ross Scarano
Dec. 13: Veronica Mars, "An Echolls Family Christmas"
Watch it today because: What is it about the holidays that makes ugly family secrets spill out? Maybe your family survives the season but you definitely know someone who's going through it. "An Echolls Family Christmas" arrives near the mid-point of Veronica Mars brilliant debut season, and while the Mars father-daughter dynamic is stronger than ever, resident Neptune High jackass Logan Echolls is about to get some much-needed humanization as his family crumbles.
The first crack: Logan's movie star father Aaron hires Keith Mars to investigate a stalker who's been going turbo with death threats, citing infidelity against Logan's stunner of a mother Lynn. Meanwhile on the teen P.I. beat, Logan, Weevil and Duncan enlist Veronica to find the missing 5 stacks from their poker game before Weevil, suspecting foul play from the rich boys, blacks out and robs everybody. It's one of the most fun cases of the season—"I was thisclose to being able to say the butler did it!" Veronica teases—but the levity goes out of the door when everything converges at the Echolls family's annual Christmas shindig. Because for every uplifting and positive Christmas special, there is one that explores the flipside: the holidays can, for some of us, get quite dark. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 14: Tales From the Crypt / American Horror Story: Asylum
Watch it today because: Want a real Yuletide fright? Dig through that box of old photos in your parents’ bedroom and pull out the ones where you’re sitting on the various Shopping Mall Santas’ laps. Chances are, Little You is screaming in pre-adolescent horror while the old, fat, underpaid guy looks jolly and promises to bring you toys, even though he knows damn well the only gifts he’s giving you are nightmares. The pics will remind you that, when you break the chubby man down, Santa Claus, is a creepy dude. Think about it—he sneaks into your house at night, he keeps tabs on you all year round, and if you’re bad, he’ll punish you.
It’s no wonder why so many storytellers have given Saint Nick midnight-dark spins over the years. Two of the best examples have been on television. The first is from the classic anthology series Tales from the Crypt, HBO’s fun and gruesome take on the old, same-named E.C. Comics title. In “And All Through the House,” a gold-digging woman (Mary Ellen Trainor) murders her hubby in order to stash his insurance money; that same night, an escaped mental patient (Larry Drake) dressed as Santa is out terrorizing her neighborhood. In true E.C. fashion, the killer wife pays for her sins, and in even truer E.C. tradition, “And All Through the House” ends with a last-second “Gotcha!” twist that’s as bleak as it is brilliant.
Santa’s even deadlier in “Unholy Night,” one of the better American Horror Story: Asylum episodes (that, for your convenience, is currently streaming on Netflix). Played by the great, always grizzled Ian McShane, Asylum’s answer to the Psycho Claus trope is another homicidal maniac, but this time one who’s confined to an institution after slaughtering people while clad in those gaudy red clothes. In a slightly sympathetic tweak, McShane’s nameless character starts killing after a street-corner Santa mocks a little kid’s Christmas wish. He slays in the name of “Christmas spirit.”
With Christmas less than two weeks away, now’s the time to start resenting 12/25 and cursing your impending credit card bill post-shopping. You know, that yearly installment of the grown-up blues. Use these two horror TV gems for some much-needed secondhand lash-outs. Trust, it’ll be better than jump-kicking the nearest Christmas tree. —Matt Barone
Dec. 15: Mad Men, "Christmas Comes But Once a Year"
Watch it today because: In a strange but not entirely surprising coincidence, we decided to feature a Mad Men Christmas episode on the same day as Complex's very own holiday office party. While that may seem like a lame reason for you to check in on SCDP (unless you happen to work at Complex, in which tonight should be fun!), chances are your office is going to have some sort of similarly-turnt yuletide gathering. Which brings us back to "Christmas Comes But Once a Year"—not just one of the better episodes of Mad Men's supremely excellent fourth season, but a guide to how to act (or not!) at said corporate event.
In case you haven't re-watched Mad Men lately, I'll set the scene. Don's secretary is currently Allison (not yet Dawn), and Megan isn't in the picture (he's still hung up on Dr. Faye Miller—remember her?). What's more, Don's amidst one of his more intense alcoholic benders, with the water-logged catharsis of "The Summer Man" still a few episodes away. Allison is attracted to Don, but so far he doesn't think of her like that. Fast forward past a charged encounter with a sexy nurse, a handful (or three) of whiskeys, and Don and Allison are making bad decisions together amidst the mistletoe. Of course Allison feels used, Don is a selfish asshole, and the ennui only gets worse. Which brings me back to your own holiday party (and ours): think twice before hooking up with your coworkers, it can only end in a downward spiral of existential despair, feelings of inadequacy, and a really bad hangover. Merry Christmas!—Nathan Reese
Dec. 16: The O.C., "The Best Christmukkah Ever"
Watch it today because: It's the first day of Hanukkah! What better way to celebrate the Festival of Lights than Ryan's introduction to the Cohen's annual co-denominational family tradition. Maybe it's because I also grew up in Southern California with one Jewish parent, but "The Best Chrismukkah Ever" just might be my favorite holiday episode of all time (FHEOAT, for short). It's rare that a Christmas (or Hanukkah) story is particularly memorable—let alone instrumental to a show's success—but showrunner Josh Schwartz avoided the clichés and spun his portmantastic celebration into a modern classic. Aside from the introduction of television's best fake holiday (I'd choose Chrismukkah over Festivus any day), it continued season one's Anna vs Summer arc—a.ka. every socially awkward kid's never-in-a-million-years wet dream. Leave it to The OC to realize the ultimate holiday gift is two beautiful young women vying for a comic book geek's heart—however unrealistic that may be. —Nathan Reese
Dec. 17: The Sopranos, "To Save Us All From Satan's Power"
Watch it today because: Of course a Sopranos Christmas episode would have a name like "...To Save Us All From Satan's Power." Then again, this Season Three gem isn't quite as bleak as you might imagine. After all, The Sopranos was a show about family, and what better time to really shine the spotlight on family than the Holidays? Well, sort of. But before things get ooey-gooey on Christmas morning, Tony has a surreal dream about the betrayal and death of Big Pussy. (Tony's a sociopath, but he sure is sentimental.) There's a flashback to when Tony began suspecting that Pussy had something to hide. Tony imagines Pussy as a fish, you know, because that's who he's swimming with now.
The episode's other plot involves Bada Bing's competitor and a run-in with Jackie Aprile, Jr.. Though things get bloody, nobody dies—hey, it's Christmas after all! The final minutes are spent around the tree with the happy Soprano family enjoying each others company. All the violence, backstabbing, and drama seems to fade away. But then Tony opens his present from meadow, a Big Mouth Billy Bass that looks identical to the fish in his dream. It's a fishy Ghosts of Christmas Past there to remind Tony that he'll never be rid of his sins, no matter how deep under the ocean he tries to bury them. —Nathan Reese
Dec. 18: The Office (UK), "Christmas Special"
Watch it today because: Take a break from your holiday stress (have you done your shopping yet?!) with a two-part trip across the pond. While the U.S. does the Holidays bigger that the rest of the world just about every regard, the UK still has the upper hand when it comes to Christmas specials. From Downton Abbey to Shameless, you're pretty much guaranteed to see a Christmas episode before a series is over. Hell, even Black Mirror is getting one for some reason, not that I'm complaining. So it makes sense that The Office—arguably Britain's most famous television export since Monty Python—had a whopping two hours of of them that also doubled as the series finale.
While Gervais and Merchant refuse to do a third season, the two-part Christmas episode is more satisfying than most entire seasons of television. (By satisfying, of course I mean hilarious and/or deeply depressing.) We get to check in on the whole gang three years after the second season. David Brent is now a traveling salesman, Tim is working a just-as-terrible job, and Dawn is living in Florida with her fiancé. By episode's end, however, Tim and Dan finally look like they might wind up together and David gets the last the literal last laugh. You might even call it sentimental. —Nathan Reese
Dec. 19: Extras, "The Extra Special Series Finale"
Watch it today because: Rewatching The Office Christmas special for yesterday's post wound up being a bit of a surprise for me. I had remembered the episode being more depressing than hopeful, but it turned out to be quite the opposite. Things work out for the Tim and co. and even Gervais' David Brent gets some appreciation. With Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale, the mood is quite the opposite; I hadn't remembered just how dark, serious, and sad this episode really is. It's great, but you may want to spike your eggnog before watching...
Though only tangentially related to Christmas at all, like The Office, Gervais decided to set the Extras series finale during the Holidays. We check back in with Maggie (Ashley Jensen) and Andy (Ricky Gervais) when they're at very different places in their lives. Maggie is at the bottom of a terrible depression, whereas Andy hates himself for this sitcom's success. As the special progresses Andy decides to quit his hit series to pursue something more meaningful (as he sees it), all the while alienating everyone in his life that matters— including Maggie. The episode ends with Andy stuck on a reality show, having destroyed all his personal relationships. Dark. Things don't end there, though, in the last minutes he manages to turn things around and offer us a small glimmer of hope. Just how, I won't tell you, but it's enough to keep things spiraling into what would otherwise be the saddest Christmas episode of all time. Then again, what else would you expect from Extras?—Nathan Reese
Dec. 20: Louie, "New Year's Eve"
Watch it today because: I'm nowhere close to being a parent and I still know that the frantic late-night gift prep on this episode of Louie is some of the realest shit Louis CK has put on screen. Don't be fooled by the episode's title—"New Year's Eve" excels at depicting Christmas Eve, particularly Louie's fight to get the eyes back into the sockets of a doll's head. It's one of the best bits in the history of the show, and will have you giving up before you even get to wrapping your presents. And isn't that what the holidays are really about? Failure? —Ross Scarano
Dec. 21: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Watch it today because: Who better to lead us out of The Week of Depression than the Mean One™ himself? This is one of, like, five Christmas specials that have a rarefied air of eternal nostalgia and thusly, fixed tradition. You will never be too old or too cool to sit down and watch The Grinch. Dare I say, his universal tale of redemption gains emotional resonance with age. The older you get the more stressful the holidays become: work, buying gifts for people in between work, spending money on other people instead of yourself. But the Grinch, and his reckoning via Cindy Lou Who is the wake-up call we all could use around this point in the month. Just smile and sing a fucking carol or two, ya know? —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 22: Lost, "The Constant"
Watch it today because: OK, fine. This episode of Lost, arguably the series' best, is not holiday-themed nor has the show ever done one. But facts are facts: at this point in the series (season four), roughly three months have passed since the castaways crash landed on September 22, and sure enough when Desmond finally reaches his beloved Penny, she's hanging ornaments on a Christmas tree. But that call? Nothing short of a Christmas miracle. The ballad of Desmond and Penny is everything you want from a wrenching Christmas tale, and by the time he finally reaches her across universes, time zones, alternate realities or whatever the fuck, Michael Giacchino is playing his signature score with your heartstrings. Despair becomes hope, with a side of joy and love prevails all. It's every story beat you want from a Christmas special, but with trippy, toggling future/past states of consciousness, a guy named Lapidus, and rich dudes battling over a magical island thrown in for good measure. Which, on the low, might just make it the most awesome Christmas special. —Frazier Tharpe
Dec. 23: Seinfeld, "The Strike"
Watch it today because: It’s Festivus, goddammit! We’ve just toiled through the week of Christmas depression—haven’t you realized that the holiday may not be all it’s chalked up to be? The endless Christmas carols and Yankee swaps and family dinners are akin to the blows Frank Costanza was raining down on another man when he said to himself, “There has to be another way!” That’s why we celebrate Festivus, as a weird, misguided way of distracting ourselves from Christmas—one last time before heading into the holiday breach once more.
There are the feats of strength, the airing of grievances (To quote Frank Costanza again: “I’VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!”) and of course, the aluminum pole. It’s all a reminder to take a step back from the Christmas season, and to celebrate it the way that fits you best. Festivus is one of Seinfeld’s lasting marks on pop culture. More than 17 years after the episode aired, people are still actually celebrating this legendary holiday. That being said, it probably isn’t for anyone—just look at all of the emotional damage it did to George. —Andrew Gruttadaro
Dec. 24: South Park, "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo"
Watch it today because: There’s nothing better than bonding with your extended family on Christmas Eve over poop humor. Really.
I remember the first time I saw this episode. It was Christmas Eve, and one of my uncles landed on Comedy Central for some reason (this was before the time of the 24-hour Christmas Story marathon). I was a kid and season one of South Park still had that sheen things have when you’re not supposed to touch them. But no parents stifled the moment this time—instead everyone gathered around the TV and died laughing while a literal piece of shit jumped to and fro (leaving remnants wherever he went) singing about Santa Claus. That’s the sort of family fun everyone can get behind. And all these years later, it’s one of the most vivid Christmas Eve memories I have. So give Ralphie a break this Christmas Eve—seriously, it’ll be on ALL DAY—round up your eight-year-old siblings, and indulge in the magic of South Park and Mr. Hankey. —Andrew Gruttadaro
Christmas Day: A Charlie Brown Christmas
Watch it today because: It’s Christmas! There are well over just twenty-five dope holiday episodes to choose from (sorry if one of your faves didn't make the cut), but our daily Christmas TV calendar would be invalid if we didn’t include the most important Christmas special of all time: A Charlie Brown Christmas. Next year, the ABC special turns 50, having originally aired on ABC back in 1965. It still holds up.
Anyone who has felt the blues around the holiday season can relate to Charlie Brown’s predicament: He’s just not feeling the yule this year, fam. He even admits to suffering from a little depression. But Dr. Charles Schultz wants all you Charlie Browns to know that there’s nothing wrong with those feelings. Especially since, as we all know, Christmas isn’t about celebrating Jesus and spending time with family. It’s about the Dow closing above 18k for the first time in history, and making that dough like Lucy at her psychiatric booth.
Christmas is about commercialism, and Charlie Brown isn’t on that tip. “I think there must be something wrong with me,” he tells Linus. “I just don’t understand Christmas, I guess. I might be getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I’m still not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.” Too bad, because everyone else is jamming to Vince Guaraldi while you sit over there like a sad sack.
But at the end of the day, CB knows he doesn’t need a big Christmas Tree to get him into the holiday spirit. He just needs friends and a little juice from the director’s chair and then everything ends up being totally OK. Take a cue from Charlie Brown and don’t let mass consumerism get you down today. Merry Christmas. —Lauretta Charlton