Image via Complex Original
You’ve seen this guy in the club before. You know the one we're talking about. The totally uncoordinated one who seems to be doing just about everything wrong. But let’s be completely honest here: you can probably plead guilty to some of the faux pas nightlife has to offer. Instead of the nights that you want to forget, here’s to creating the nights that are ones for the books.
No Means No
Your mom has been trying to teach you this one since before your facial hair grew in, so it should be a no-brainer. If she's not interested, there is no value in persistence. If she doesn't want to talk to you or dance with you or have a drink with you, that's it. Cease and desist.
Yelling Isn't Necessary
A club isn’t the ideal place to engage in conversation, so be mindful of that beforehand. Instead of being the guy who is yelling every five seconds, keep the conversation intimate. If the person on the receiving end leans closer they have a genuine interest in what you have to say. If not, they’ll just nod and give you the side eye.
Pre-Game Before Hitting the Club
As a guy, the club scene is already not in your favor. Admission fees, bouncer egos, and drink prices will have you dropping an ungodly amount of money for one night of fun. Before you make your way to the club, pre-game with your friends. This way, it’ll ease the strain on your wallet.
Note: Keep in mind that pre-gaming for a tailgate and pre-gaming for the club are two separate entities. Your drinking session before the club should be effective, but still light. You cannot (and will not) be the guy keeling over in line. Have a few beers instead of knocking back shots.
No Touch Zone
Maneuvering through the crowd is always a task and a half. Women form chain links to stay together because guys—let’s just say you get a little touchy. Trying to get through the crowd doesn’t mean that you have to place your hand on the small of a woman’s back. “Excuse me” works even better. Believe it or not, you’ll stand out as the one guy who didn’t have to feel her up just to get to the bathroom.
Stay Hydrated
This is your time: your NBA Final, your marathon. Drink to your heart’s content but have water between drinks. Remember it is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself for the long haul. An epic night at the club should only be the first stop, not where you tap out.
Don't Spend Your Rent Check
As tempting as it may be to want to buy everyone in the club a drink or indulge in bottle service, it’s not for everybody. If you are dipping into your rent money for one night of sparklers, shame on you. That’s what the Fourth of July is for.
Approach Her
You see her and she definitely sees you. Sometimes locking eyes with someone in a club can be a little awkward, but if this is a constant thing then she’s probably crossing her fingers that you’ll say something. Go for it. No one ever got anywhere by playing eye tag.
Finish Drinks Before Heading to the Dance Floor
Linger around the bar until you’ve finished your drink. Try not to be the guy who’s spilling his drink all over the dance floor.
Walk the Line
“The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room.” Denzel dropped this gem in American Gangster. Sure it’s about confidence, but there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Invest your energy in making sure that your night is full of new discoveries and bold moves instead of just fighting to be seen.
Arrive at a Decent Time
There is an art to getting to the club at a decent time. You don’t want to be there too early, and arriving too late will be a bust. Try to get there during peak hours, when the crowd’s energy is at an all-time high.