Image via Complex Original
It always seems very easy to make a good nickname. There are the classics that always get love from Magic to the Reign Man. Despite all of those great nicknames, there is an abundance of terrible ones that should never be used in public. Many of these nicknames are unfortunately self-proclaimed or given for rather ridiculous reasons. Ruben Patterson was called the Kobe Stopper which was far from the truth and Dwyane Wade called himself WOW which was ridiculed by everyone. Here are the Worst Nicknames in NBA History.
20. The Spider
Player: John Salley
Team(s): Detroit Pistons, Miami Heat, Toronto Raptors, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Lakers
Career: 1986-2000
Stats: 7.0 PPG, 4.5 RPG, 1.1 APG
Kevin Durant getting the nickname "The Durantula" only exacerbates how boring and effortless the nickname Salley received was. Salley was an average player who probably didn't deserve a nickname, but he probably doesn't mind with four championships to his name.
19. Eggs
Player: Craig Ehlo
Team(s): Houston Rockets, Cleveland Cavaliers, Atlanta Hawks, Seattle Supersonics
Career: 1983-1997
Stats: 8.6 PPG, 3.6 RPG, 2.6 APG
Is there anything worse than being named after food? It's great and all, but Ehlo surely can't enjoy being remembered for something very unmemorable.
18. Pooh Richardson
Player: Jerome "Pooh" Richardson
Team(s): Minnesota Timberwolves, Indiana Pacers, Los Angeles Clippers
Career: 1989-2000
Stats: 11.1 PPG, 2.8 RPG, 6.5 APG
Pooh Richardson had a solid NBA career as a starting guard with Minnesota, Indiana, and Los Angeles. We can only imagine how many people thought of "Poo" when they heard his name rather than seeing it spelled out.
17. Stevie Franchise
Player: Steve Francis
Team(s): Houston Rockets, Orlando Magic, New York Knicks
Career: 1999-2008
Stats: 18.1 PPG, 5.6 RPG, 6.0 APG
If you demand a trade before even setting foot on an NBA court, then you better be the Franchise. Francis was solid making a couple of All-Star appearances, but the Rockets later on figured out that Yao Ming was "the Franchise" of the future.
16. The Polish Gazelle
Player: Marcin Gortat
Team(s): Orlando Magic, Phoenix Suns, Washington Wizards
Career: 2007-Present
Stats: 8.7 PPG, 7.0 RPG, 0.7 APG
There is nothing physically imposing about a gazelle no matter where the gazelle can be found. Maybe Gortat can find a new nickname fo himself as he moves on to the Washington Wizards.
15. Big Cactus
Player: Shaquille O'Neal
Team(s): Orlando Magic, Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Heat, Phoenix Suncs, Cleveland Cavaliers, Boston Celtics
Career: 1992-2011
Stats: 23.7 PPG, 10.9 RPG, 2.5 APG
Shaq has had many great nicknames during his time in the NBA but the Big Cactus was not one of them. That nickname was as short as his tenure in Phoenix.
14. Kobe Stopper
Player: Ruben Patterson
Team(s): Los Angeles Lakers, Seattle Supersonics, Portland Trail Blazers, Denver Nuggets, Milwaukee Bucks, Los Angeles Clippers
Career: 1999-2007
Stats: 10.7 PPG, 4.2 RPG, 1.8 APG
In this case, men lie, women lie, numbers don't. Obviously numbers will be skewed because Patterson didn't guard Kobe every possession, but Bryant averaged 29.3 PPG on 44% shooting in head-to-head matchups against Patterson throughout their careers.
13. The Whopper
Player: Billy Paultz
Team(s): San Antonio Spurs, Houston Rockets, Atlanta Hawks, Utah Jazz
Career: 1976-1985
Stats: 8.5 PPG, 5.6 RPG, 1.6 APG
What are we talking about? Burgers?!
12. Butter Bean
Player: Bob Love
Team(s): Cincinnati Royals, Milwaukee Bucks, Chicago Bulls, New York Nets, Seattle Supersonics
Career: 1966-1977
Stats: 17.6 PPG, 5.9 RPG, 1.4 APG
The boxer with the same nickname makes more sense. Love had that nickname because of his love for the legumes? Kind of wack.
11. Boobie
Player: Daniel Gibson
Team(s): Cleveland Cavaliers
Career: 2006-2013
Stats: 7.8 PPG, 2.0 RPG, 2.0 APG
Daniel "Boobie" Gibson had an explosive rookie year, where his nickname became a popular topic. Can anyone imagine people constantly using his random nickname back and forth in conversation? It just sounds weird.
10. Crib Midget
Player: Jameer Nelson
Team(s): Orlando Magic
Career: 2004-Present
Stats: 12.6 PPG, 3.1 RPG, 5.2 APG
Dwight Howard gave Jameer Nelson this nickname, but let's be honest. Dwight was never good with words.
9. Air Gordon
Player: Ben Gordon
Team(s): Chicago Bulls, Detroit Pistons, Charlotte Bobcats
Career: 2004-Present
Stats: 15.9 PPG, 2.6 RPG, 2.7 APG
In hindsight, this has to be one of the more shortsighted and ludicrous nicknames ever given to anyone. Gordon did win the Sixth Man of the Year during his rookie season and has had some great moments, but "Air Gordon" is just simply blasphemy.
8. Bimbo
Player: Darnell "Bimbo" Coles
Team(s): Miami Heat, Golden State Warriors, Atlanta Hawks, Cleveland Cavaliers, Boston Celtics
Career: 1990-2004
Stats: 7.8 PPG, 2.1 RPG, 3.9 APG
How did Bimbo Coles survive school with that name?
7. Hot Plate
Player: John Williams
Team(s): Washington Bullets, Los Angeles Clippers, Indiana Pacers
Career: 1986-1995
Stats: 10.1 PPG, 5.1 RPG, 2.9 APG
Unlike Lafayette "Fat" Lever, John "Hot Plate" Williams got his nickname because of his girth. Williams got that name because of his namesake who played in the NBA during the same period with the nickname "Hot Rod." You know it's bad when you get suspended for being overweight.
6. Fat
Player: Lafayette Lever
Team(s): Portland Trail Blazers, Denver Nuggets, Dallas Mavericks
Career: 1982-1994
Stats: 13.9 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 6.2 APG
Lafayette "Fat" Lever got his name, not because of his weight but because his brother had trouble pronouncing his name. Lever was putting up some "fat" statistics throughout his career though. He was a triple-double machine. Do the knowledge.
5. The Machine
Player: Sasha Vujacic
Team(s): Los Angeles Lakers, New Jersey Nets
Career: 2004-2011
Stats: 5.6 PPG, 1.9 RPG, 1.3 APG
The Machine should only be given to players who can score in double figures on a regular basis. Not average bench players who can barely survive being on an NBA team.
4. Baby Jordan
Player: Harold Miner
Team(s): Miami Heat, Cleveland Cavaliers
Career: 1992-1996
Stats: 9.0 PPG, 2.2 RPG, 1.2 APG
Baby Jordan? That's what Harold Miner got as a nickname for his college prowess, but failed to live up to the hype and pressure that comes with such a nickname and winning two Slam Dunk Contests.
3. Barely Cares
Player: Joe Barry Carroll
Team(s): Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, New Jersey Nets, Denver Nuggets, Phoenix Suns
Career: 1980-1983; 1985-1991
Stats: 17.7 PPG, 7.7 RPG, 1.8 APG
There's nothing worse than being dogged out by the media for being a lazy player who just doesn't care. Imagine how Carroll would be viewed in this intense media filled NBA analysis world that is very "ringzzzzzz" centric.
2. Bad Porn
Player: Corey Maggette
Team(s): Orlando Magic, Los Angeles Clippers, Golden State Warriors, Milwaukee Bucks, Charlotte Bobcats, Detroit Pistons
Career: 1999-2013
Stats: 16.0 PPG, 4.9 RPG, 2.1 APG
Corey Maggette is a talented player and got to the free-throw line at a ridiculous rate during his career, but he still has his detractors. When he signed with the Golden State Warriors, fans decided to knight him "Bad Porn." Their explanation:
“Sure, there’s penetration and scoring, but are you really happy with what you’re seeing?”
Zing!
1. WOW
Player: Dwyane Wade
Team(s): Miami Heat
Career: 2003-Present
Stats: 24.6 PPG, 5.1 RPG, 6.1 APG
Self-proclaimed nicknames are always a bad idea. Dwyane Wade decided last year to name himself WOW (World of Wade). Luckily, the King LeBron James decided to stop that hot mess of a nickname.